Just because I'm on a roll of posting today, I figured why not share this little work in progress. It has a ways to go yet.

This painting is for the time I walked to a friends house with another friend after going to a show. We listened to 'lua' by bright eyes and it was lovely. I frequently think back to that night and smile inside, I wish every moment could feel as calm and content as that one did. Lately though, it does :)

She walked with care.

She walked with care, her tender steps leaving not so much as a footprint in the rubble strewn ground. Before her, the street went on for miles, stretching until it connected with the grey skies and formed a horizon.

On either side of her stood the burned out shells of what had once been magnificent blocks of apartment blocks, now reduced to nothing more than charred skeletons, mere reminders of the radiant wealth they had represented.

She pulled dug her hands deep into her pockets, searching for any warmth her worn coat could offer. The cold wind stung her face, sending tears cascading across her porcelain white skin. As the made her was along the stretch of cracked pavement that had once been a main street, a light flurry of snow began to fall around her, the flakes falling slowly, spiraling, and finally melting on the ground.

We Are

We are the fog in your mind
We are what got you here in the first place
We are the shaking in your legs
We are the doubt that weighs you down
We are what you hide
We are what you hate
We are your future
We are your past
We are inescapable
We are unpredictable
We are here to stay.





We were what saved you
(You were what burdened me)
We were your life
(You were what changed me)
We were what cured you
(You were what plagued me)
We were your friend
(You were what I fought)

We will always be remembered
(You will always be a reminder)

Calculation Theme

I'm sick, you're tired, let's dance
Break to love make lust I know it isn't
I'm sick, you're tired, let's dance
Cold as numbers but let's dance

As though it were easy for you to lead me
I could be passive gracefully

Half the horizon's gone
a skyline of numbers
Half the horizon's gone
working the numbers
'till I'm sick

Sleep don't pacify us until
Daybreak sky lights up the grid we live in
Dizzy when we talk so fast
Fields of numbers streaming past

I wish we were farmers, I wish we knew how
To grow sweet potatoes and milk cows
I wish we were lovers, but its for the best

Tonight your ghost will ask my ghost,
Where is the love?
Tonight your ghost will ask my ghost,
Who here is in line for a raise?
Tonight your ghost will ask my ghost,
Where is the love?
Tonight your ghost will ask my ghost,
Who put these bodies between us?

Don't you love those weekends. When everything works out. And you love life? Cause I do.

I doodled today. I loved every minute of it. Make your 3 wishes and they might just come true.

The longest show I've ever played is coming up this saturday night; 3 hours of music. I feel like i should be nervous, but I'm just excited. Everything is happening so fast around me, and when it finally slows down I just want more. It's all or nothing.

Photo of me by Britni McPherson

Why can't I just say what I'm thinking instead of hoping it's what were both thinking? It would make everything so easy.

What is it that lets you breathe

that one breath of refreshing air?

Which builds those bridges of cold

flowing down your back

sending you

wide eyed, flushed, flailing

down city blocks and sidewalks of

a choking catharsis

your lungs filled and overflowing

with the sweetest oxygen the room could provide.

A hospitality to the senses.

Hospitalized.

for a need to breathe

these panic-stricken gasps stain skin for weeks to come,

a co-relation of blood and breath

a promise broken; later softly spoken of.

Remembered in these veins

as the day

that cool air filled this fear ravaged throat

and soothed me inside.

Confusion.

I wish i could forget that day. I wish I could forget your past. I wish none of those times had ever happened. We could be grateful, we could be loved. I wish you hadn't thrown it away. I wish I didn't have to question this, I never did before. It's coming back though, and I can't block it out. I see it in my dreams, I always ask myself why you did it, why you would take those risks. Without trust, this is nothing.

This world moves so fast, yet I move so slow. I just want my movement back...

A Serenade Of Static

Awakened by a break in my serenade of static

'what was it that make you fall so far?'

These eyes stay strained on the view ahead.

An unchanging focal point to let my mind stray

the only way to rest without sleep is to;

let nothing else in

The walls absorb the sound.

The sun consumes the light.

This shell shields me from feeling.

Breaking out would be a step away from me

and staying inside of here is how i want things to be

The unanswered phones

Keep ringing off the hook

And the day they stop will be the day I'm free

From collections of paranoid parodies who hide in their masks,

running in circles,

stabbing each other's backs

They've gotten what they wanted for long enough.

All that they focus on is idealism

I've found a better way of looking at things;

Realism.

I'll take a scratch to the next level and rip myself out of their grasps,

out of this twisted utopia

of cookie-cutter houses and patternless carpets.

I'm weak and alone.